To The Suicidal Teen Being Bullied Online

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I’m in the process of reposting some of my old blog posts from The Mighty. This one was written 3 years ago and can be found by following the link under the “About Me” section of the site. I’m reposting this one in particular due to a burden placed on my heart. Where I’m living now, I see a bunch of girls seemingly always in groups and always seemingly striving for perfection. There’s no such thing as perfection. There’s only your character. Part of me knows deep down this culture of perfection and unrealistic expectations only leads to more hurt and depression. As soon as we forget the labels and start realizing that everyone is a human being with a unique and valuable perspective, maybe then we can come to a place of true forgiveness and grace. I know for a long time I thought that if I only dressed, acted, or behaved a certain way maybe then I would finally be accepted. The truth is, your acceptance doesn’t come from anyone or anything.

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I want to preface this note by saying I know exactly where you’re coming from. I understand your pain, all of the nights spent alone wondering if it’s even worth it anymore. On the outside, everything may seem fine, but on the inside?

On the inside, you’re hurting.

On the inside, you feel as if you’re merely going through the motions, and with each day that passes, you wish there was something more. You wish that somehow, the endless array of hallways you navigate through each day could disappear and with them, all of your naysayers and doubters too.

It didn’t all used to be like this though. You remember a day where you could care less what anybody thought about you. You remember a day when you were just you, and all your friends loved you for who you are. Those days are seemingly over now. The playground you used to interact with other kids on is now replaced with Facebook and Twitter.

In this “always on” world, words can be posted in a millisecond. Words that have power, words that mean something. These words get played over and over in your head. Soon enough, you start believing them.

I have a message for you though, friend. Never believe what anybody says about you. I get it. Their words hurt. They feel like stab wounds. Every time you remember them, you start to accept them as truth. The truth is though, their words couldn’t be further away from the truth. Don’t you understand? Their words are meaningless, written from the keyboard of a coward.

Their words could never adequately describe you, your intellect or your true character. You are beautiful and loved. I believe you were created by a God who made you for a specific purpose, and for exactly the time you are in now. You are wanted. You are treasured. You are needed. Anyone or anything that makes you believe otherwise is just plain wrong. The naysayers and doubters will always try their best to define you and to make you believe what they are saying about you is truth.

However, know that none of it is. Know that beneath all of the tweets and mean rhetoric, lies a person too, a person who is hurting, just like you. It is a person trying to mask their own insecurities, by attacking you. One day, when you make it past the hallways and into the real world, you’ll realize just how insecure those people were. Their voices will shrink and become silenced. They will be left to criticize while you’re changing the world.

Until then, realize that no 140-character tweet or mean message could possibly define you. Realize that your best days truly are ahead of you. These days are long and hard, but they will get better. Until then, keep pressing forward. It gets better, I promise.

What I Know (The Hurt and The Healer).

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As we grow up, we start to lose a sense of wonder. For me, at least, I think losing my dad at fifteen was one of those things that shattered my already fading notion that the world is some perfect place made up of fairy tales, and unicorns. The thing about growing up is that you never really feel any older. You remember going to things when you were six or seven and now you’re 22 and wonder where the time went. I grew up going to church. In fact, some of my fondest memories as a kid, besides going to Disney World religiously and the love I felt from my grandpa- were those Sunday services. Now, my mom would have to drag me to church on Sunday since I was and probably never will be a morning person, but I love her for it now more than ever. I think it’s interesting how Jesus describes the process of rebirth in the Bible. It’s interesting how Nicodemus comes to Jesus at night so he doesn’t have to feel ashamed. Christianity doesn’t tell one that one has to be perfect or without blemish. It simply requires one to make a recognition out of humility and love that we were never as perfect or as holy as we thought we were, to “Confess with your mouth that Jesus is LORD and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.” For with the heart one believes and is justified, and with the mouth one confesses and is saved.” (Romans 10:9-10).

C.S. Lewis once wrote- “No man knows how bad he is until he has tried really hard to be good.https://www.goodreads.com/quotes/99392-no-man-knows-how-bad-he-is-till-he-has

This whole notion that’s really popular today in a lot of circles that “we’re all very good people” so there is no hell and God must love us is simply a feel-good theology designed for maximum clicks and leverage.

It is also quite a shame that some think their salvation can be bought or paid for, as Jesus has already paid that price and made this very clear: ” I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes through the father except through me.” (John 14:6).https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=John+14%3A6&version=NIV

Trying to buy your salvation via money or other goods is like trying to buy someone’s affection or true love. You can’t.

The good news is Jesus laid down His life so we could live ours in freedom and humility.

That’s perhaps why a prideful Christian is not only an oxymoron- it’s something that cannot exist in the Kingdom of God. Pride destroys relationships and builds a false sense of security. Combine this with money? Well, that’s a lethal and potent combination.

“Again, I tell you- it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of the needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God.” -Matthew 19:24