Anger, resentment, sadness. These are just a handful of the emotions I still deal with from the loss of my dad five years ago, and I’m tired of having to act as if they’re somehow less legitimate because I lost him five years ago.
They say time heals everything, but I’d like to respectfully disagree with that notion. The only thing time does is make things a little more blurry around the edges. Time doesn’t heal anything, it only serves as a constant reminder that my dad is no longer with me. There are days when the emotions I feel from losing my dad nearly consume me, and I am hard-pressed to be able to focus on anything else.
On these days, I try to remind myself that I should be grateful to feel the emotions I am feeling, as they simply mean that I had someone in my life who meant more to me than I could have ever possibly imagined.
Some people say that only weak men cry and show emotion, but I’d also like to call bullshit on that one as well. As far as I’m concerned, I can cry until I can cry no longer. Crying helps me heal, and as I slowly feel the tears brush down my cheeks, I am reminded that there will be a day with no more sorrow or pain, only joy.
So the next time I’m feeling down and someone asks me how long its been since I’ve lost my dad, I’ll just say an eternity. They might be confused by that answer, but it’s honestly what it feels like on some days.
Five years ago I lost a piece of me, so don’t try to tell me what emotions I can or cannot show.
I’m stronger because I cry.
I’m stronger because I show emotion.
It’s OK to show emotions, guys.
After all, we have hearts too.